We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
