i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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