I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
