don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
