Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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