In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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