There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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