I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
