Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
