He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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