why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
