3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
