Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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