i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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