yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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