Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
