No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
