I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize