i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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