none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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