in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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