do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize