You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
