I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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