it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
