just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
tonight lets celebrate not being married
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
