We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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