It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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