State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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