im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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