Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Buhtt sex?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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