Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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