I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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