i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
