Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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