You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
