I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
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