Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
