That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
