we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
