No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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