You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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