I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He passed out mid-signature
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
