your room smells of hookers.
And success
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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