I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
