It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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