i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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