I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
