She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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