I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
