Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
