are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
did i just pee glitter
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
