Are you guys doing anything tonight?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door