the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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