i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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