she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
