i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
