2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ketchup is God's man juice
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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