When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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