Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I want a musical about memes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
