I puked a lego.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
