she was so not down for the gang bang
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
