yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize