He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
