Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
