hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's great music for shaving your balls
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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