Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
