And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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