Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize