i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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