A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
